Talking Openly About Vaginismus

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    On Saturday I sent out several letters to ob/gyns in our tri cities area. I also sent a letter to The Doctors and e-mailed to the Ricki Lakes and Dr. Oz shows. Since hitting the send key and putting the letters in the mailbox I have had major feelings of vulnerability. Without even thinking I signed it with my full name and also included “My Story”. Our children, my husband’s side of the family and most of our friends do not know that I have vaginismus and/or the procedure that I just had done. I am feeling so exposed. I totally want to get the word out and share but now I am worried that my over eagerness may have opened up my life to people whom I really are not comfortable with knowing…especially our children as they are 11 and 16 and the 16 year old is our son. Has anyone else had these feelings, sent out letters and used your real names?


    After I sent my letter to the Ricki Lake Show, I realized after I had already sent it that I used my full name. I like you got nervous and a sick feeling came over me. Recently though I am feeling like why should I be so nervous or scared that someone will find out?! Especially after all the anxiety issues I have been going through after my procedure, I’m realizing that everybody has issues why should I be so ashamed, especially since I can’t control it. I am finding that I am becoming more comfortable in my own skin. If people find out or want to ask me about what’s been going on me with. Well, I’m going to tell them!

    It’s different I’m sure having children and etc. but you have nothing to worry about. I think this is part of overcoming vaginismus and healing.


    This is an excellent, excellent thread Nakita and Allie and I have felt so many emotions myself surrounding the idea of “going public”.

    I have sent so many letters to both Women’s Magazines and also Radio and Television shows using my real name and have had such a nervous feeling afterwards, similar to what you both described. I was very, very proud of myself for having the courage to send the letter and advocate in such an important way for women who continue to suffer with vaginismus in silence but very nervous at the same time as my husband and I have only shared our journey in overcoming vaginismus with three of our closest friends. But, I still did it however, and, like you mentioned Allie, I felt like it was an important part of overcoming vaginismus and healing. In later advocacy efforts, I have made several comments on magazine articles and blogs written about vaginismus where I described my story and how I overcame with Dr. Pacik’s treatment. In some of these comments, I have used my real name and in others, I have used an anonymous name. I admire and respect the ladies who have fully “gone public” and shared their story.

    In our write-in campaign for The Doctors show, Dr. Pacik has mentioned the following concerning privacy:

    “Privacy: If you do not want to “go public” simply sign it “frustrated” or something similar, with or without a return address, or an email or nothing. This is more about The Doctors getting the message. If you feel comfortable being interviewed this can be done anonymously where your voice and physical characteristics are not revealed or you can simply go public as four courageous patients of mine did years ago on the Tyra Banks show (“Married Virgins”, 2009).”

    How do you feel about “going public” and sharing your story??? I would also love to hear from any forum members who have “gone public” and how they felt about it.


    In an excellent recent post, Dr. BatSheva wrote:
    “We also wish that we could get the word out better. Every woman who walks into our center with vaginismus thinks that she is the only one or thinks she is crazy. Often we get approached by TV shows or reporters who want to do a story on vaginismus and then we try reaching out to patients who have successfully been treated. Women do not want to go public. On the one hand, I totally get it, on the other I find it so frustrating because the more this subject is not taboo, the more normalized it can become, the easier it will be for womeen to seek treatment.”
    Has anyone out there reading this gone public? If so, how did it go and how did you feel about it?

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