Somewone who beat vaginismus?

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    Hello! I just wanted to talk about my story with vaginismus because I feel so alone and I want to find people with the same problem. I will talk about my progress. Well, I found out that I have vaginismus when I had sex for the first time. I have sex without penetration with my boyfriend but I feel worried about what I have. I feel like all of you, like I’m not like the other girls. My boyfriend is very supportive with me but I feel he wants to have his first penetration and it’s sad sometimes to think I cannot give it to him. Also, I always wanted to use tampons and I couldn’t. My family have always told me sex is bad and that I don’t have to do it before marriage. I think that’s why I have vaginismus. I didn’t have enough sex education, I didn’t know how my vagina was. When I read about vaginismus, I started to do Kegel exercises. I recommend it so much! Read about Kegel. I feel more comfortable with my pelvic floor since I started to do kegel. Then, I read about vaginal dilators. Okey, I can’t have them because I’m 20 and my mom doesn’t want to take me to see a gynecologist because I’m young. And I don’t know how to find a good gynecologist. So I replaced them with objects. I started with a pencil. Doing kegel, one day the pencil entered. Such happy was I that I told my boyfriend about it. Today I tried a bigger object and I felt pain. The feeling that I don’t have a hole was there again. That’s when I think I NEED TO SEE A GYNECOLOGIST. I believe I can control my pelvic floor doing more kegel and trying to use objects. Relaxing and being mentally strong. I’ll try again tomorrow, maybe using objects for a long time, like 10 minutes. I want more progress, not only a little pencil.
    What do you think about my progress? What would you recommend me? How was/is your progress? Thank you for reading. (Minor data: I’m from Argentina)


    Welcome to the forum, and it does sound like you do have vaginismus. I love your resourcefulness and desire to treat this issue. I think it is fantastic that you were able to insert the pencil all on your own. Moving to a bigger size can be more painful and anxiety producing. Using the pencil for a longer period of time is a good idea, and maybe moving it around side to side as well.

    I do think you would best benefit from purchasing a proper dilation kit online, here is a site to purchase:

    I like the white plastic smooth dilators, they come in many sizes and the jumps from one size to the next are very small. But the silicone dilators are also very good if you want something a little softer.

    I think seeing a gynecologist would also be a great idea. You might still have an intact hymen, and they can assess weather a small procedure to cut the hymen might be an option for you. It could help make the vaginal entrance more open, and insertion of the dilators easier.

    I hope this helps, keep us updated on your progress!



    Thank you for your response! I’m definitely gonna follow your advice


    Hi Anonymous – this definitely sounds familiar as someone who had vaginismus before! I agree that using real dilators will help you progress and better understand how able you are to insert things. If it’s at all possible, I recommend ordering some online like Melissa suggested and hiding them at home if you need to. Maybe you can order them to a friend’s house if you need to. Also be sure you’re using a lot of lube when trying to insert something so there isn’t extra friction. If you don’t have access to a quality sexual lubricant, coconut oil is an excellent substitute!

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