Share Your Experience of Vaginismus for a BBC Article!

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  • #24608
    amomentalove
    Participant

    Hi all, I’m Georgia and I have been commissioned to write a piece for the BBC on hymenal abnormalities and other women’s health issues, with a particular focus on vaginismus. This came about due to my own experience with a septate hymen, which resulted in me ending up in A&E because, after inserting a tampon for the first time, I couldn’t remove it.
    I’m looking to include as many different stories in the article as I can, and so I’m wondering if any of you lovely ladies would be willing to share any experiences you have had with vaginismus?
    If you could leave a comment below of around 50-150 words detailing your own experience, alongside your full name, age and hometown (unless you would rather remain anonymous in the article, which is no problem – although if you would be happy providing your age that would be great), I would be very grateful!

    I’m particularly interested to know about:
    (a) how the condition has affected your life;
    (b) if you feel hopeful about getting better in the future;
    (c) if you have sought help/taken any steps to seek help from professionals, and if so, whether therapy has helped you or not?;
    (d) if you have overcome vaginismus, how you managed to do so? Was there a key thing that helped you recover?; and
    (e) if you have any advice to give to girls experiencing the same/similar problems?

    If anyone takes the time to get back to me, thank you so much! I know this isn’t the most relevant post to ever grace this forum, but I’ve been looking for personal experiences for a long time now, all to no avail, and only have until March 20th to source some. Help a gal trying to help other gals out!

    #24636
    recessivegenequeen
    Participant

    Hi Georgia! Sure, if it’s not too late we could talk. Not sure if you’re looking for Americans but I’m Bailey James from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I’m 27 and had vaginismus for about 10 years, from ages 15 to 25, when I finally got treatment. My vaginismus story will be very familiar to most people who have had it before – years of no success wrapped up in feelings of shame and self-loathing and frustration, wondering if sex would ever happen for me and not confronting the issue until a boyfriend eventually gave me an ultimatum of sorts: if I didn’t get treatment, we wouldn’t be able to stay together long term. I went on to get the botox treatment and was able to have sex 20 days later. That’s the micro-story, but that was my situation!

    #24649
    endofmytether
    Participant

    Hi Georgia, I would like to make an anonymous contribution as I’m a long-term sufferer of vaginismus who isn’t yet cured and I live in the UK. I knew I had a problem at the age of 14 when I couldn’t use a tampon – I nearly fainted when I tried to use it! Later I realised that although I had all the desire to have sex I couldn’t have intercourse with any of my boyfriends. At 22 I discovered my condition had a name and that I wasn’t the only one, but in those days there was no internet and I had little help to do anything about it. Over the years (I’m now 51) I have tried many treatments both on the NHS and privately but with no great success and sometimes with much criticism and nasty comments from so-called medical professionals. I have been married for 21 years and am lucky to have 2 children, conceived very painfully out of desperation that we would never have a family. After ignoring the vaginismus for many years I’m now trying to have intercourse again and am making good progress with dilation, but I’m worried about the transition to intercourse. I can’t stress enough how cruel this condition is for the sufferer and their partner – I’m crying as I type this because I have felt so inadequate as a woman all my life and also feel angry about the ignorant reaction of some people to the condition. I feel like I want to shout out to the world how painful this is for us and make it better known so other women don’t have to suffer in silence. I’m now quite hopeful that I can beat vaginismus – I don’t really know why, but it feels like a fresh start. I would advise any other women suffering out there to ask for help asap and research as much as possible on the condition as knowledge is key. Sadly treatment for vaginismus is no longer provided on the NHS, which just backs up my theory that the medical profession do not appreciate the physical and emotional toil this condition has on the sufferer. Thanks for bringing this horrible condition into awareness Georgia – please ask away if you want any more input.

    #25039
    Jennicat
    Participant

    Hi Georgia!
    I was wondering if you want me to post or if you have an email address that you would want me to respond to you.

    #25083
    MaZu
    Participant

    Hi Georgia,
    My name is Marina, I’m 21 years old and was treated for vaginismus two years ago in both the NYC and the Westchester Clinic.
    (a) how the condition has affected your life;
    I “lost” my virginity when I was 16 years old and got treatment three years later. Throughout these three years I had no idea what was wrong with me. I tried talking to friends who, of course, didn’t relate to or understand my painful descriptions of sex. The sexual partners I had during this time also weren’t much of a help, they tried to help me “relax” which we all know doesn’t work for vaginismus. Every time I would have sex I just tried to concentrate on not crying. I didn’t want anyone to know that I wasn’t just like everybody else. I tried to avoid thinking about sex and ended romantic relationships as fast as I could. Overall, I felt like a creep and an alien. I remember being in a biology class, learning about natural selection and coming to the realization that I would soon be extinct along with all the species that died before they could reproduce and give continuation to their species. In my case I could live forever, but I would never be able to have a boyfriend, have sex, and have children. The idea of being obliterated and forgotten was terrifying to me.
    (b) if you feel hopeful about getting better in the future;
    By the time I started getting treatment I knew that everything would be alright at the end.
    (c) if you have sought help/taken any steps to seek help from professionals, and if so, whether therapy has helped you or not?; (d) if you have overcome vaginismus, how you managed to do so? Was there a key thing that helped you recover?;
    I stoped and thought about the life I wanted to have – that gave me the strength to first tell my mom about my pain and second make an appointment at Maze. During the recovery, I realized that I had to go through all that treatment because my brain was afraid of something, and I had to figure out what that was.
    (e) if you have any advice to give to girls experiencing the same/similar problems?
    If you own your pain now you’re going to own your orgasms in the future. Look for help and fight for yourself. You deserve it. In the meantime, surround yourself of people who love you, if sexual pleasure is none existent at the moment, it doesn’t mean you can’t find happiness elsewhere.

    #25579
    Lovelee19
    Participant

    I can give you a great article especially on the view of religion and how it affects this disorder. check out my profile page for more information or i can email you in great detail i have struggled with this for 10 years now and i just got married.

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