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    First of all a big thank you to all of you who have been contributing to this forum, I’ve learned a lot from here.

    I’m currently doing my exercises with the largest dilator I have in my set, and my therapist said I’d soon be ready to take the next step.

    However my husband has never had PIV sex before (I’m his first partner), so in the mean while I’ve told him to stop masturbation for a while, since that is the best thing to do in order to reduce the amount of issues guys may have later on. At least, that’s what I’ve learned from here.

    It’s been a few weeks now since he had his last orgasm and he’s complaining he feels this “pressure” inside. He asked me if he’s allowed to masturbate to get rid of the feeling, but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Won’t his body give him a wet dream at night to relief the pressure on its own? Sorry for the weird question but I have no other place to ask.


    Hi Froggy,

    I do think that if your partner is feeling uncomfortable, he should masturbate. It is true, that men can get accustomed to a certain way of ejaculating, and it can take time to transition from masturbation to PIV intercourse. But not ejaculating for long periods of time could lead to prostatitis, and we don’t want that to happen. Since he is uncomfortable, I do think he needs to ejaculate.

    I hope this helps. Melissa


    I’ve never heard before that not ejaculating could cause prostatitis. Prostatitis is an infection of the prostate, which is totally unrelated to the number of days it has been since you last had an ejaculation (see

    It’s true that not ejaculating might cause a feeling of pressure inside but after a week or two, the body will usually get rid of the excessive fluids during a wet dream.


    @mazemelissa, do you have a source for your statement? Cause I tend to agree with Mark2021, I’ve never heard this could cause prostatitis before. Priests don’t masturbate, for instance, and they surely don’t all end up with prostatitis. Plenty of men don’t do it either for religious reasons. When the pressure gets too high, men usually get a nocturnal emission.


    Interesting. I still think it makes sense for Froggy’s partner to masturbate intermittently (once a week?) just to relieve the pressure. There should still be sufficient desensitization to stimulation that will help when they transition to intercourse.

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