position

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  • #25405
    kassss
    Participant

    Hello,

    I have been suffering from vaginismus for over a decade now. tried botox in London with disappointing results and then tried so many other routes with no success.

    long story short, I have made some progress with Doctor Pacik pain-free glass dilators and with so much useful information on this website.

    now I have recently moved from glass dilator no. 06 to the woman on top position (full penetration)however my partner is not happy at all with this position and want to try other positions.
    in other positions I am facing this big issue with leg locks, also I find this position from behind really hard.

    please provide any tips to avoid these leg lock situations or any other positions so I should progress more… thank you for help.

    #25425
    recessivegenequeen
    Participant

    Hi Kassss – first of all, congratulations on achieving intercourse! That’s a HUGE milestone and you should feel really proud of yourself after all you’ve been through that you’re able to do that.

    The transition to intercourse is one of the trickiest parts of handling vaginismus because you have a lot of different factors when moving from a piece of glass or silicone to the penis of another person. Woman on top is a GREAT first position after vaginismus because it gives the woman full control over the intensity and depth of the penetration, which can be really important for women who have feared the pain of sex for a long time. It might not be your partner’s FAVORITE position, but it’s an important transitional one for you. Also, as much as i’m sure he’s impatient to have sex with you if he’s waited awhile to do so, for the first month or two sex will likely not be totally fun and carefree – it will be an extension of dilating as you get comfortable with insertion of a penis and also with the fact that another person will have some degree of control over insertion, speed, intensity, etc. Things WILL get much better and will eventually feel normal, spontaneous, passionate, and so on, but it’s important to work up to that so you feel fully ready and enthusiastic about what’s happening.

    That being said, you can treat a sexual session like a dilation one and start with an easier position before moving to something more challenging. Woman on top is the easiest so I ALWAYS recommend starting with that, then maybe moving to something like missionary where your partner is doing the thrusting and you’re not having to do something complicated like stay up on your hands and knees. To be totally honest I’d discourage anything like doggie style or any behind positions this early on – they’re usually how you get the deepest penetration and even as someone who’s been totally free of vaginismus for years, sometimes I find them too intense depending on the size of the partner! Take your time and listen to your body as it learns new things and you’ll be having satisfying sex before you know it.

    #25547

    Positions are very individual. Another position that has been helpful to some women with vaginismus would be lying on you back at the edge of the bed with your feet propped up on chairs. Have your partner standing there, and you can gradually guide him in at your pace. Doing a bit of dilation first would also be helpful.

    Hope that helps.

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