Major Burns! – how to stop it

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    I’m wondering if this description will sound familiar to anyone else. I’ve been through several years of training with dilators (or trainers) and am able to have penetrative sex, but never really got to the point where that wasn’t the almost friction burn like sensation, either with dilators or otherwise. It’s almost like the inside walls of my vagina are ‘raw’. It seems strange to me because the muscles are relaxed, so I don’t feel like there should be any reason that this kind of pain is still present. It’s definitely friction that causes it, and I noted in an earlier post that someone mentioned it is worse when a dilator is being removed – can relate.
    Obviously I am using all the lube possible, even when I’m told I don’t need any!! I’m not sure what else to do at this point. Keep on using the dilators? I stopped at number 4 but maybe I should be trying number 5?


    Hi Eggplant – I’m not a doctor, but I could see it being possible that it might help to get a bigger dilator size (especially if your partner’s penis is bigger than the dilator you normally work with). The sensation you’re describing could be the “burning sensation” that is the muscles needing to stretch and being out of practice. But if it’s really been happening for a long time and you feel like your muscles are otherwise relaxed, it might be worth a conversation with a gynecologist about whether something besides vaginismus is causing pain – it could be some kind of allergy to condoms or lube you’re using, for example. You might try different lube/condom brands to see if that helps as well. Definitely worth investigating further though – it shouldn’t continue to hurt once you’ve gotten to a good place on dilating!


    Hi Eggplant – yes, recessivegenequeen is spot on. That “burning” feeling could just mean that you need to keep stretching those muscles. Try moving up to the next size dilator to see if that makes any difference. If not, you should probably check with a provider who can do an exam, or perhaps a vaginal culture to make sure there is not something infectious (BV, yeast, etc ) happening in there. Hopefully that helps!

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