introduction

[Pookems]

I’m not 100% this is the right forum for me, as this is a US forum and i’m from Europe. I notice you use botox for treatment, I dont have the impression botox for vaginismus is a common practice in Europe.
My main reason for joining this forum isn’t really for this type of treatment, but more for being in contact with people that actually might understand my problem.

I was only diagnosed with vaginismus at age of 28 when i finally decided to visit a gynaecologist. The reason iI finaly decided to search help was because i met my husband and we had difficulties having sex. But I suppose that I’ve always had this issue as I was never able to use tampons. Ignoring the issue is easier then facing it, but when i met my husband i had to at least acknowledge there was an issue.

After this diagnosis I went to a fysical therapist who was specialized in the pelvic floor area. To be honest the treatment wasnt very succesfull, mainly due to my fear of pain I suppose. I went on with it for a few years with zero progress.

Then at age 34 my husband and I finally decided we wanted children. So i followed a so called exposure therapy in the Netherlands. This had some success, as after this treatment i’m able to insert 2 fingers. But still it’s not enough for intercourse, as inserting is one thing but movement is another…
By now i’m 36 and we are currently trying to get pregnant via syringes, but it’s not successful

I hope other peoples experiences might give me the courage to search further help.

[Heather34]

Hi Pookems. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so, so sorry for your struggles with vaginismus and everything you have had to go through with this. Please, please know we are all here as a community to support you and you are not alone with any of this. I struggled with having it for 11+ yrs and my entire marriage until June 2011. I tried to use the dilators from vag.com along with the workbook and could never make it past the step of being able to insert a q-tip or the smallest sized tampon which did not work d/t burning pain. Post-procedure, I was able to insert dilators for the first time ever and then my husband and also have exams, all things that I never ever ever thought would be possible. I’ve used both the Pure Romance dilator set as well as the Pacik Glass ones and like them both. The Pure Romance ones are great b/c they’re a softer silicone material and have handles which makes them easier to insert and remove. They also have many, many different sizes. I also really like the Pacik Glass ones b/c they, too, have the handles and they are shorter in length so you don’t feel them as much and can do other things with them in. I want to share the link for the second issue of the VaginismusMD Newsletter that discusses all-things dilating. Specific topics include: Styles and Materials of Dilators, Getting Started with Dilation (includes information on ordering dilator set), Anxiety Control, Advanced Dilation Techniques, and Transitioning to Intercourse. http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-resources/vaginismus-newsletter-archive/ins-outs-vaginal-dilation/. Please know that I am here for you along your journey of overcoming vaginismus and will support you every step of the way. Having gone through this alone for years without telling a single person except my then boyfriend/now husband, it was so isolating and I don’t want anyone to ever feel like I did then. One final thought that I had is I used a combination of Lidocaine/Surgilube as a lubricant on the dilators. I liberally used this and it made beginning insertion much more doable. I hope all of this helps and, again, please know that I’m here for you.

[Pookems]

Thanks for your reply.

I’m glad to see many women have managed to overcome their problem.

I ordered some dilators. Unfortunately I found them rather uncomfortable. They’re made of some sort of medical plastic and feel really hard. I was able to insert the smallest, but it was difficult to keep it inside without pain. When I use my fingers, inserting is uncomfortable but once inside it’s doable to comfortable, depending on my mood I suppose.

Today I ordered some silicone dilators, they seem to be more flexible so hopefully I will like them more. Another plus on those, the silicone set contains 2 dilators that are smaller then the smallest of the set i recently obtained.

Reading people’s experiences on the forum did give me the courage to try and insert 3 fingers. And this was doable, it felt tight, but not really painfull. I’m quite pleased that I finally found the courage to do that.