Hey, I’m 24 from the UK. I had one sexual experience aged 20 which hurt a bit and I did break my own hymen before using a hairbrush as I had some anxiety about it hurting but overall it was a success.
I got my first boyfriend aged 23 and we have tried to have sex but it has always ended in me feeling like a failure because I can’t do it. Luckily we can pleasure each other in other ways but after a year have not been able to go all the way. I feel guilty because I love my boyfriend whereas the one time I lost my virginity before was a meaningless fling.
I was put on the waiting list to see a psycho sexual therapist and after a 16 week wait was able to see one in August. I’ve been prescribed dilators and am now able to use the biggest one but it is very uncomfortable and takes a while to get used to, the next one down I am now comfortable using. I wash them thoroughly but got thrush which was very uncomfortable for me and makes me reluctant to go to work because of the itchiness so am now even more nervous of using them. I’m not sure if it is because I wash them with dermol cream which I found out is for external use only? But before the dilators I used a toy which gave me cystitis and had to have time off work as I felt like I needed to use the toilet all the time and I washed that with soap and hot water. I’m now at a stage of considering the botox treatment but unfortunately doesn’t seem to be available in the UK, it seems it’s just me needing to raise the funds to come to the USA.
