Help! Dilating dilemma.

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    My GP diagnosed me with vaginismus. I have recently started dilating with minimum success. I dilate comfortably with my fingers (tried index and middle finger with success) but notice discomfort and pain when using dilators (even the smallest one). I feel a burning sensation upon entry however, once it is inserted it feels ok inside but then removing can sometimes trigger the same feeling. I find it very odd how I don’t feel this at all with my fingers but only with the dilators.


    Hi Lilly,

    I think that what you are feeling with the dilators is totally normal. That burning sensation is the muscles at the vaginal entrance stretching, and it can take time to get used to the dilator size.

    I think your finger doesn’t hurt because you possibly are more relaxed with your own finger, than a dilator which feels more foreign to you. And it is possible, that even the smallest dilator is slightly larger than your finger, which would cause more stretching and more discomfort.

    If you are getting in the smallest size dilator, even with the burning sensation, I would continue to use it. When you feel that insertion with the smallest size feels more natural, maybe the burning sensation has reduced or even disappeared, then move up to the next size.

    The removal feeling for a lot of women can sometimes be more triggering than the insertion, some find it helpful to “bear down” when removing the dilator and it will more naturally be expelled.

    Hope this helps, and keep us updated.



    Thank you so much for the insight! I am able to insert two fingers at one time now. I do think it’s because I see the dilator as a foreign object. I really hope i get over this with practice.


    Hi lillyahmed – how has the dilation been going? There can definitely be more of a learning curve with dilators for the reasons Melissa said (and also because they’re more rigid than a penis or finger or other part of your body would be. The burning sensation takes getting used to but is totally normal. It’s sort of like how after you exercise, your muscles feel sore and achey – that’s just the feeling of them being pushed beyond their limits and needing to heal stronger. Your vagina is doing the same thing, so just remember that when you feel that sensation, it’s your vagina learning to stretch and grow!


    Yup, I also feel burning specifically when removing something from in there. For me, it feels like my vagina is being turned inside-out, as if the skin inside is coming to the outside. It’s good to know it’ll go away with time!


    MostSensitiveWoman, the burning sensation with dilation is definitely one of the hardest parts to overcome, but once you realize it’s normal you hopefully won’t be as worried about it and will get used to it faster!

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