Becoming “too comfortable”

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    I am finding that dilating is becoming very comfortable for me. Not meaning physically(which it is) but more mentally. I am realizing that I have skipped a few nights sleeping with my dilator and that I haven’t been dilating my normal full 2 hours a day. I know I need to keep up with my dilating routine but since everything has been going so well maybe I’m becoming too confident? I want to make sure I don’t fall off track. Has anyone experienced becoming “too comfortable” with dilating? Is this a bad thing?

    Dr. Pacik

    This is an excellent post and something I deal with on a daily basis. The stretch of the vaginal muscles is achieved differently by our patients. For some, when there is considerable fear and anxiety, the dilation may take longer. For those who get “comfortable”, the process can be faster. Each person needs to understand their own individual response to dilation. Some of my patients only sleep with their dilator every two to three nights and do not dilate during the day. Others find that continued reduction, say to 15 minutes a day, is all they need to maintain comfortable intercourse. By monitoring your progress and using comfort with intercourse as an important measure, the dilation program can be adjusted to the individual woman’s needs.

    We learn from each other, so let’s have the other dilating divas add to this important discussion.


    Hi Allie. This is a great question, of which I hope we will receive varied feedback from the veterans. I think like Dr. Pacik said, everyone is very different with post-procedure dilating and progress at different rates and several things can play into this, including continued anxiety, etc. I dilated regularly post-procedure (around 1-2 hours per day) from end of June-mid Feb and slept with the dilator every other night. I then took a break from dilating from late Feb-mid April. I then resumed dilating from mid April through the end of June (1 full year). I stuck to this schedule for personal reasons that I was always terrified that if I didn’t, vaginismus would somehow come back. I remember what it was like to have back then and never ever, ever wanted it to return. I then stopped dilating at the end of June and now, only dilate prior to ob/gyn exams. I can comfortably have intercourse and insert tampons – all w/o dilating prior but I am still too nervous to try an exam without this preparation. I know this is persistent anxiety as I am able to physically undergo the exam pain-free but it just makes me feel so much better and more relaxed to know that I’ve dilated in advance. Hope this helps. For the other vets, what have been your experiences?


    Hello Everybody!!!! My dilation has been going great too. I usually sleep in the pink dilator….not every night. I do it about every 3rd night now. Always before intercourse…pink and blue. I have had zero pain with intercourse 🙂 It has been 6 months since my procedure…and things are going great. I still worry about the vaginismus coming back if I don’t dilate on a regular basis. I feel that for me, dilating every few nights is enough… will be a long time before I am not scared of the vaginismus returning. I am confident it will not return, just hard to fully convince my heart of that!!!!!! Hope everybody is doing great….keep on dilating Divas!!!!!!!!


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