9 Days Post Procedure Story
April 25, 2013 at 10:19 pm #8898GoldDahliaParticipant
Hi ladies! I’m now 9 days post-procedure and feeling good. Wow, it has been both an exhausting and thrilling week! When I showed up at the surgi-center on day 0 I was pretty calm since I knew I’d have the wonderful anesthesia to help me through the procedure. That is, until it was time for the nurse to put the IV in and I freaked out. Sorry, Audrey, for not appreciating your compliment that I have good veins; I just wanted that thing out! It was probably a good distraction, though, because as I walked into the surgery I was only thinking about where that plastic tubing was at all times and nothing at all about my vagina.
The last thing I remember was Dr. Pacik making some comments about my hymen as he did the physical exam, then groggily mumbling that I didn’t want to wake up, I wanted to nap some more as I nestled under the blankets in the recovery room. Once the IV came out a few minutes later I was a happy camper! I never had the Aha! moment that day as so many others have. I just thought, “well of course the big blue is in there without pain, I knew it would be. Dr. Pacik did all the hard work getting it in and all I have to do is move it around and dilate back down while I still have the local anesthetic working.”
The next day was when I showed up with anxiety through the roof. Here was the day where I had to dilate myself, with no anesthesia and the botox not yet in effect. I was absolutely sure I wouldn’t be able to do it, but going from purple #4 to pink #5 was a piece of cake! Dilating up to blue #6 was painful, but at least possible. It was a tiring but encouraging morning alternating dilating with my husband and doing counseling with Dr. Pacik and the other two ladies. It was pretty quiet and relaxed, with no nurses around. This was my breakthrough day! I left feeling much more confident and continued with the dilating schedule that night.
I think I have had a bit of a backwards dilating experience compared to most people since then, with almost zero anxiety now that I know the dilators will go in, but still experiencing pain with the largest. I am hugely encouraged every time I dilate, which definitely motivates me to stick to the schedule even when I am massively busy – no more avoidance! Day 6 was a sort of mini-crisis. Would I ever ride a bicycle again?! For several days post-procedure I had that feeling of fullness like right after an orgasm, only it would never go away. I didn’t even want to see without the dilators in! The engorgement went away after that day, finally, and I’m not having much vulvar discomfort anymore. I stopped using the lidocaine and surgilube that day, so I’m not sure if it was related to that or if I am just getting used to increased traffic down there 🙂
For anyone who is considering treatment, it is definitely worthwhile! My first week has been a bit of a roller coaster and not without discomfort, but I am over the moon with so many positive feelings about my progress! I cannot believe that I can just roll out of bed, pop a dilator in, and wander around making breakfast when less than two weeks ago I couldn’t even get a finger in there! It is so amazing and I am so excited to continue to progress towards intercourse!April 26, 2013 at 6:51 am #11417AllieParticipant
Thank you so much for sharing! You are doing amazing! I can’t wait to continue reading your new updates! It’s definitely an amazing feeling knowing that YOU can be in control of your own body!! 🙂April 26, 2013 at 9:25 pm #11419NakitalabParticipant
So very happy for you GoldDahlia! What amazing progress you have made in such a short amount of time. I had a little longer transition after my procedure as far as feeling comfortable dilating while doing day to day activities. That is so awesome that you already are able to be up and about while dilating! This whole journey after Dr. Pacik’s procedure is just so awesome and amazing. I get happy tears every time I read a new post from women like yourself who are conquering Vaginismus! What a blessing! And even more so for women who have just found this site and realize that they aren’t alone anymore, that they can share their story, their ups and downs and that they truly have hope of being rid of painful intercourse!April 28, 2013 at 9:50 pm #11421Dr. PacikParticipant
Even though I have performed this treatment so many times, stories like yours continue to touch me. When I think of the 8 years of struggling with grade 5 vaginismus, your high anxiety with any form of penetration, your multiple failed prior treatments, the severe muscular spasm on exam, your struggle even completing the questionnaire…I think to myself how is it possible to make such rapid progress? Something just clicks and suddenly makes sense making it possible to not only go through with the program, but to sail though the post procedure dilation as you are doing.
I have also observed that as a result of this Forum, women like yourself are arriving with much more knowledge and resulting tranquility than ever in the past. It is so important for everyone afflicted with vaginismus to have the Forum as an ongoing resource. Even if some of the topics are repeated periodically, this is a lifeline for women who continue to struggle.
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