18 and finally introducing herself!

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• January 12, 2015 at 8:33 am #9322
  savin3

  Participant

  Hello to every wonderful member of this community! I’ve been meaning to introduce myself for some time now, but due to turbulence of my emotional state kept putting it off. Lurker alert 😉

  I was aware of my vaginismus long before a formal diagnosis took place, but went through various stages of denial until I felt brave enough to visit my GP. I have a boyfriend whom I have been with for over a year, who thankfully is extremely understanding and supportive, which has made my journey significantly more bearable.

  I’m from the UK, and unfortunately travelling etc for the botox treatment would be out of the question for me. I hope that delving into this forum will prove encouraging and inspiring, while I continue my treatment! 😀 You’re all so incredible and strong, never forget that.

  January 12, 2015 at 4:39 pm #13604
  Marianna162

  Participant

  Hi Savin!

  I can completely understand the turbulent emotional state! When I realized I had vaginismus, I turned into a wreck. It’s such a lonely thing to go through, and really just made me feel like a shell of my former self. I’ve had numerous medical procedures done in the past (bone issues), and think I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but couldn’t handle the pain I put myself through during intercourse or pelvic exams. Nothing I tried actually worked. I was lucky enough that I live only about an hour from Manchester and was able to go in December of this past year for treatment, and although it’s a continued progress, I’m amazed at what I’m able to do now.

  One of the things I did find comforting was this forum. Vaginismus is just such a secret. I’ve discussed what I went through with a few friends since my procedure, and none of them had ever heard of it (and one is a nurse). Even finding information on the internet is difficult, and there are some people who just say terrible things, too. So I was really glad to find this and the forum, and I actually look through things on it frequently.

  I wish you all the best with your treatment! 🙂

  February 15, 2015 at 3:29 am #13633
  savin3

  Participant

  Thank you for the response Marianna 🙂

  I doubt I will be posting here again as my worries were founded – that my location would render me invisible to the forum community due to my inability to partake in the botox treatment. I have found alternative online outlets for my experience and frustrations, so hopefully I will receive more acknowledgement there 🙂 I wish you all the best on your journey.

  February 15, 2015 at 1:27 pm #13634
  Janet Pacik

  Participant

  Hi savin3, I am so sorry about your most recent post. Dr. Pacik and I try to be there for all women suffering from vaginismus –both treated and untreated women. I think the Forum has times when the gals are super active and then times when nobody replies. We have tried to encourage all of our 300 plus treated patients to be active on the VaginismusMD Forum. We now have over 700 members on the Forum. Please be assured that women not responding to your post is not deliberate and has nothing to do with your inability to partake in the botox treatment. I do encourage you to continue to read the posts on the Forum.

  February 15, 2015 at 4:51 pm #13635
  savin3

  Participant

  Hi there Janet!

  Thank you for your response, looking back at my post I feel it may have been written during a moment of frustration. It’s easy to feel extremely isolated with this condition and begin projecting that onto others, combined with the fact that my own treatment has taken a hiatus more times than I care to admit. I will continue to participate on this forum, thank you again for your kind words 🙂

  February 15, 2015 at 4:57 pm #13636
  Janet Pacik

  Participant

  You are very welcomed and I do hope that you receive other responses soon.

  February 15, 2015 at 8:59 pm #13638
  Dr. Pacik

  Participant

  Hi Savin
  Since it will be difficult for you to travel to the US, you might consider picking up a set of dilators, the DVD on dilation and my book on vaginismus. There are many women who are successful on their own. You can use the contact form to get more information about this and how to order. I am also willing to help with remote counseling.
  All of this is dependent on the amount of anxiety you have to penetration. For women who have considerable anxiety a self guided program can be more difficult.

  February 15, 2015 at 9:32 pm #13639
  Heather34

  Participant

  Hi savin. Just wanted to let you know that I understand the isolation that accompanies this condition and I am here for you along your journey of overcoming. I basically told no one all through my 20s and into my early 30s and it was so, so hard. The only one who knew was my then boyfriend now husband who was very supportive and my rock throughout. Please know, again, that you have my 100% support and friendship. Sending you positive thoughts and hugs!!!

  February 16, 2015 at 9:00 am #13641
  savin3

  Participant

  Thank you all for your kindness and support! 🙂 I have decided to begin my treatment again from the ground up, dedicating attention to both my health and mental wellbeing, and even looking into meditation and yoga to help combat my anxiety. What’s more is that I now have a whole community to consult throughout my journey! 🙂 this new start feels like a positive one. Thank you all again, have a wonderful day!

  February 17, 2015 at 10:56 am #13642
  Heather34

  Participant

  Quote:

  Quote from savin3 on February 16, 2015, 09:00
  Thank you all for your kindness and support! 🙂 I have decided to begin my treatment again from the ground up, dedicating attention to both my health and mental wellbeing, and even looking into meditation and yoga to help combat my anxiety. What’s more is that I now have a whole community to consult throughout my journey! 🙂 this new start feels like a positive one. Thank you all again, have a wonderful day!

  This is so, so, so wonderful Savin. Please know you have my support 100%. I was thinking about the idea of yoga and meditation and think this is so great. I wanted to share a prior thread with you in this regards and hope it helps.

  http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=440.1

  I wrote:
  “I think yoga is a great idea for relaxation prior to dilating and I’d love to hear how you find it. I found a great article that discusses both yoga and meditation DVDs.
  http://voices.yahoo.com/the-best-gaiam-yoga-meditation-dvds-relaxation-54300.html?cat=5
  Excerpts from the article include:
  “A.M. and P.M. Yoga for Beginners
  Are you concerned about fitting yoga into your schedule? I was, and I found that this DVD was the ideal way to get started. It offers 2 easy 20-minute programs, one designed to wake you up and one designed to help with relaxation at the end of the day.
  The “A.M.” practice is led by famed instructor Rodney Yee. It’s hard to imagine a gentler way to ease into yoga: most of the 20 minutes are spent on your back or on your stomach! It begins with a brief meditation, then moves into a series of simple stretches and poses. I find it more relaxing than energizing. If you have trouble talking yourself into anything resembling exercise, this may be the yoga practice for you.
  The “P.M.” practice is led by instructor Patricia Walden, whose soft voice is for me the essence of relaxation. The “P.M.” portion is definitely beginner-friendly, but much more challenging than Yee’s practice. It begins with meditation, leads you through a flow of active yoga poses, and ends with-ah!-relaxation pose. It’s great for loosening the back, neck, and shoulder muscles that tend to tense up when you sit at a desk all day; and it also stretches the hamstrings and calf muscles. If you’re a beginner, you’ll probably feel that you’ve done a surprisingly thorough workout in a short amount of time.
  I’m not a morning person; I only do yoga in the late evening, a few hours before bedtime. I alternated between the “A.M.” and “P.M.” practices and found that both helped me get ready for sleep. Two years later, I still use these practices if I want nighttime relaxation without getting too involved in challenging activity.
  Stress Relief Yoga for Beginners
  This is another DVD that’s great when you want a brief but truly relaxing yoga practice. Don’t be put off by the cover description, which lists the total running time as just over an hour. The actual practice is about 20 minutes long; the rest of the content includes an interview with instructor Suzanne Deason and a section on using props. A highly regarded yoga teacher, Deason confidently leads the viewer through a flow of basic poses and stretches that nearly anyone can follow. Like A.M. and P.M. Yoga, Stress Relief Yoga continues to offer relaxation benefits even after you’ve moved on from the beginner stage. This isn’t a “workout”-it’s not meant to be. As the title implies, it’s a simple means of relaxation, one you’ll reach for again and again.”

  Mmbayles wote: “I just finished my second night of Yoga, and I can say that dilating is a little bit easier, I relaxed my muscles and the only time I notice the dilator in me is when I directly think about it or if I get up and down off the bed… I am very excited to see how this yoga at night works out in the long run… Hoping something helps out soon :)”

  February 19, 2015 at 2:29 pm #13646
  savin3

  Participant

  Wow, thank you ever so much! Your reply was incredibly informative 😀 I have begun to carry out kegel exercises throughout each day, which is another string to my bow 🙂 thank you again!