Hi Allie, I can totally relate to how you are feeling as I was feeling the same way last week. You are doing so well and I know you will be pleasantly surprised like I was with the exam. I highly recommend dilating for at least an hour or more (I did for 2 hours) and arrive with #6 in place. Not only will it prepare you physically but it will help you mentally as well. I also used lidocaine as my lube. Do you have anything you can take like lorazapam or anti-anxiety meds? something to take the edge off? It really helped me. And Heather’s advice of referring to “s” as a dilator or insert. Also, I told my nurse practitioner that I didn’t want to see the “s” as I personally have a real aversion to it. Allie, I’m so confident that you will do great. What time is your appointment? I will keep you in my prayers.