Hi memcna. Thank you so much for your post. I completely agree with Dr. P and Melissa and commend you so much on reaching out. You have nothing to be embarrassed about as Dr. P and Melissa said as vaginismus is a medical treatment and one of which can be treated. I so, so understand how you feel as I suffered with it during my 20s and into my early 30s. I was super embarrassed too and did not tell anyone except my then boyfriend / now husband and the few providers we visited. I lied to all of my closest friends and distracted myself with everything and anything b/c having “V” was hard to deal with and go through. And, like you, at the time, I felt lost as well. Please, please know that I am here for you 100% and you will definitely get through this. You have me and the rest of the Forum for excellent support as well as wonderful treatment options. I also agree with Dr. P and Melissa that trying dilators would be a great place to start and, should you need further help, then contacting Maze and either receiving the Botox treatment program or working with them in any possible way would be extremely helpful. I have used both the Pure Romance dilators as well as Dr. Pacik’s glass dilators. Concerning the Pure Romance ones, I love them as they are a soft silicone material, they come in all different colors, and they have handles which makes them easier to insert, remove, and reinsert. I have also used several lubricants with them including a combo of Lidocaine/Surgilube, Pre-Seed, Etc. and have found that they do not dry out and stay coated. I have also used Dr. Pacik’s glass dilators and love these as well. The word “glass” alone sounds so intimidating and I never could’ve imagined using these while I had vaginismus, but once I tried them, and, again, coated them liberally with lubricant, I was able to insert, remove, and reinsert. They also have the important handles and are much shorter in length than the pure romance ones which made them feel more comfortable to walk with and do other things while dilating. I would be happy to share more with you and answer any questions that come up as you try dilating or about anything at all. Please know that I am here for you always!!!