Hi Arshee. I definitely agree with Melissa’s thoughts here as well. I am so sorry for what you are currently going through.
You wrote: “It takes over an hour for me to get aroused sufficiently, hence sometimes I get tired of the foreplay and we insert it say after 30 mins of foreplay then it causes burning and pain.”
I think working with vaginal dilators here could really, really help. I have used both the Pure Romance ones as well as Pacik Glass ones and love them both. In an earlier post that I wrote this morning, there is a detailed description of each: http://www.vaginismusmd.com/support/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=1077.0#postid-5734
Another idea is to use a vibrator prior to intercourse. I have used the Lelo Liv and highly recommend it. http://www.vaginismusmd.com/aidsproducts/vibrators/lelo-liv-vibrating-dilator/
You wrote: “I got HSG done and had extreme burning sensation when speculum was inserted, any slight movement during to procedure was further tightening up my vaginal walls.”
I despised the speculum while having vaginismus and an exam was impossible due to the excruciating pain/resistance. There is a great thread that I wanted to share with you concerning our thoughts on the Speculum: http://www.vaginismusmd.com/support/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=255.1 One thing that helped me so much following my procedure with Dr. Pacik was to actually wear the vaginal dilator to my ob/gyn appointment and remove it prior to having the speculum inserted. In doing this, I was stretched so well that it did not hurt at all having it inserted and removed.
I also would definitely contact Melissa at Maze and work with them in any possible way. I know they are offering an out-of-town option to treat vaginismus. My husband and I tried for several years to become pregnant but were not able to until this past May. I alternated using the syringe method along with having sex during the dates I was ovulating. http://www.vaginismusmd.com/support/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=1046
Please know that I am here to support you every step of the way. Sending you huge hugs!!!