Re: Introductions

[Heather34]

Hi SFJ. You wrote “I would love to help with advocacy on the issue. I’m excited to read and respond to other people.” This is wonderful to read and I sincerely thank you for this. I LOVE the idea of finally talking openly about vaginismus and no longer having to live with it in secrecy and isolation. Just by opening up with each other and talking about it together on this forum, we are already helping to really spread the word, educate, and help others. Concerning the dilators, it is seriously so, so amazing how well it works. I entirely understand your nervousness about this, however, and I promise you that this is entirely normal to feel. After reading Dr. P’s book last year prior to my procedure and talking to other formerly treated patients, I just could still never ever imagine myself being successful with the dilators. I convinced myself that I would be the only patient that it wouldn’t work on. What helped me so much here is being able to share these feelings with a very, very supportive therapist and to hear her actually tell me that she knew I would be able to do it. Sometimes, if someone else truly and honestly believes in you, it can work wonders for your confidence and help you to believe in yourself and your abilities that much more. And, it also took just going through it and successfully experiencing it. I promise you and any other woman out there who is reading this that it really does work and I sincerely feel like if it worked for me, it will work for anyone. I honestly can’t describe in words just how nervous that I was about the whole thing but now, I just couldn’t imagine life without having done this. Another thing that really helped me and motivated me personally to overcome vaginismus was my health. While having vaginismus, I could never ever have a successful gynecological exam and it always ended badly and in tears. I also could never have the required tests (i.e. internal ultrasound). After the procedure, I had my first successful ob/gyn exam last October and I’m still honestly so, so happy that it worked and was pain-free. The only thing that I wish I did differently is I wish I would’ve found out about Dr. Pacik and this treatment sooner. I tried so many other treatments (pelvic floor PT, biofeedback, dilating on my own, etc.) and nothing worked as I could not differentiate the pain/anxiety response to the point that any attempt at insertion hurt (even a q-tip). Once I had the procedure and knew that something could successfully go inside of me pain-free, I kind of re-trained my brain. Rather than anticipating a terrible burning pain with insertion, I knew that if I had already successfully inserted something pain-free, it would work again with no pain. I just want you to know that I’m here for you 100% and believe in you. I also love reading your posts and, again, love that we have this forum, a supportive community to finally talk openly about vaginismus. Can’t wait to hear back from you soon. Take care, H