Home › Forums › Vaginismus Support Group › Vaginismus for the Men › A husbands view. The good and the bad. Advice welcome. › Re: A husbands view. The good and the bad. Advice welcome.
Hi wtcross. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I would love to e-mail with your wife if you think she would be interested. If so, please let me know and I can set this up. I had vaginismus for 11 years, which included the first 5 years of my marriage (06-11). It was so difficult on both of us and we eventually reached the point of not even talking about it because it was so painful. We enjoyed other forms of intimacy but were never able to make love. I was so upset during this time and felt like a huge failure. I would try using the dilators on my own and also completing a workbook and just never ever had success. My husband would try in the beginning to help with the dilators and finger penetration but nothing at all worked. With each attempt, he felt like he was hitting a wall of resistance and I would retract in pain each and every time. It was simply impossible so we eventually stopped trying altogether. In 2011, I found Dr. Pacik and had the Botox treatment in June of this year. It was seriously one of the best decisions of my entire life. I can’t guarantee it will be the exact same for your wife but there is such a both physical and psychological response to this treatment. I woke up for the very first time with a dilator inside of me and this was so important for me personally to know that I was not physically broken and something could be inside of me and not hurt and it was so important for my husband to see this and know I was not in any pain. Thereafter, we practiced dilating in the office and, again, it was so important for both of us and especially my husband as he could see I wasn’t in pain with insertion. The Botox works to eliminate the “great wall” of resistance as he called it and makes inserting a dilator and later my husband now possible. 7 days post-procedure, we were able to transition to pain-free intercourse for the first time ever, something I had wanted to do for our entire relationship and marriage. 1 month ago on Thursday, I gave birth to our first child, a baby boy. Again, another dream of ours that was impossible without this treatment. I would encourage you or your wife to contact Dr. Pacik and chat and work with him in whatever way is possible. And, again, I would love to e-mail back and forth with your wife if she is interested as someone who has gone through what she is going through right now. Sending you both my support!!!!