Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus Dilating Lube. Reply To: Lube.


Hi Indirectly – really glad to hear the new lube is arriving soon! The pink one never stopped being a stretch for me (literally) because it really is so thick. I was able to work with but it never just felt effortless in the way some of the smaller sizes eventually did. Having difficulty with it doesn’t necessarily mean that you aren’t ready for intercourse, but making that transition can be challenging for other reasons, like you’ve said. Making the transition between dilation and sex is somewhat an issue of mood – something i found that helped was having my partner start to get involved in my dilation process by inserting some of the smaller dilators (which was also really good practice for me at letting go of control somewhat and letting someone else control the sensation). He would also use a vibrator on my clitoris while I was dilating which brought a little sexiness to a process that can normally feel very clinical. You might also try dilating a few minutes before you intend to have sex and THEN invite your partner into the room – your muscles will still be stretched but it can help the energy of the interaction feel more erotic. It will just be an experiment first and likely will feel awkward at times, but you will get the hang of it and figure out what works.

Let us know also if your partner has any issues on his end with maintaining erections or with premature ejaculation – those issues crop up a lot for couples first transitioning to intercourse after dilating and are super common, so if it’s happening it can totally be worked on. Hope this helps!