Reply To: Being single and dealing with vaginismus

[Helen Leff, LCSW]

Hi Patty22,
You have come to the right place! Congratulations on completing your pelvic therapy and being able to insert all the dilators. Even if you don’t currently have a partner it’s important to continue some form of “maintenance dilation” to ensure that the muscles stay stretched,open,relaxed… Your “efforts will not be worthless”. You will be able to now have gyn exams without dread, and if you feel like using tampons they will now be comfortable to insert and remove. You can use an internal vibrator which will offer an internal massage and is less clinical than inserting a dilator. It’s important to be dilating with a size that is a touch larger (wider) than a partner when you feel ready to have intercourse. It’s important to be ready both physically and emotionally . You get to choose who it is you want to have first intercourse with, whether it’s a one night stand, a friends with benefits arrangement, a surrogate, or whomever you feel safe to share in this experience with you!
Take care and keep us posted,
Helen