Hi Annefrance – thanks for your post and for sharing your story! A decision like this will always be really personal, so it depends on the factors as they affect you. How bad is the pain with intercourse? How much of your partner’s penis were you able to insert? Can you afford the hymen surgery? Maybe you can give it another try while knowing what’s causing the pain and see if anything changes, but only you can say what your personal motivations are or whether it’s worth it to you to get the surgery
. I know other women on these forums have gotten this procedure done successfully and have been glad that they did, so you might consider looking at some of the other posts and seeing how similar their situations are to yours in thinking about whether this option might work for you.