Callyyy – thanks for posting your story! This actually lines up really well with what marianne, who wrote a book about sex that’s used for educational purposes in Europe, posted very recently elsewhere on the forum:
For a long time vaginismus was underrepresented as a diagnosis and many women went years thinking their pain was “normal” or being misled by doctors and gynecologists, told to “just relax,” etc. In the past year or so, for the first time on the forums I’ve started seeing stories more like yours where the vaginismus diagnosis was misplaced on someone who actually had more normal sexual functioning or pain that wore off in time. I’m not a scientist but I have a suspicion this is the pendulum swinging far in the other direction of people wanting to be extra sure that potential vaginismus cases are addressed. Personally I think this is still a preferable situation because you got to the gynecologist early and ended up not having an issue, but if it HAD been vaginismus, you would have been well positioned to get help or learn about your treatment options without the years of suffering and uncertainty that a lot of women who have endured vaginismus lost time to.
I hope that the eventual outcome will be a pattern of education like marianne describes in the post above – that women are educated to understand that pain during sex the first few times is normal but it’s important to seek more information if that pain isn’t lessening over time. It’s hard for such nuanced education to get distributed, but hopefully time will bring about more specific and practical information.
It’s interesting to hear what you’ve experienced, Callyyy, and I’m glad you’re now able to have pain-free sex!