Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Tips for Future Vaginismus Patients Alternative ways to still be intimate/have sex! Reply To: Alternative ways to still be intimate/have sex!


Speaking as someone who (like most women) does not orgasm purely from penetration, even though I don’t have vaginismus anymore, I still orgasm with my partner mostly from other activities. I find that outercourse (rubbing genitals together in a way that feels good) partnered with kissing my partner and having my nipples touched reliably causes me to orgasm, and that was also my main method even before seeking treatment. It’s absolutely true that you don’t NEED to achieve penetration to have a better sex life! It can be hard for a lot of women (and their male partners) to embrace alternative sexual activities to penetration because our society has such strong coding around the fact that intercourse is “real” sex and everything else is just a warmup act. I hope that more couples will build their own personal definitions of a great sex life, because often it doesn’t have to include intercourse – and that won’t even be enough for the female partner anyway!