I totally get why you are down…vaginismus can be a real slow battle to fight.
But you have to recognize that you are making some progress, even if it is very small.
You can ask your ob/gyn if she might be able to prescribe you diazepam suppositories to insert vaginally to help relax the pelvic floor muscles so your PT work is more successful.
If you feel that your fear of penetration is still overwhelming, and also getting in the way of your progress, working on anxiety reduction can be key. Some find starting a low dose antianxiety medication, like zoloft or lexapro, can be extremely helpful. But also CBT or some other form of talk therapy in conjunction with your dilation program can also be helpful.
Botox injections can be another treatment that could be helpful.
Just please…don’t give up…and don’t avoid it…you have more options to explore.