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Most women have found a way to get around their vaginismus in their marriage or relation, at least temporarily, and usually the alternative is masturbation (in each others presence or one partner doing it on the other one). And when you’re like my husband and never had sex before with another partner, that means they had NO other way of stimulation besides masturbation, for their entire life. It’s a HIGHLY underrated issue that causes problems in almost ALL couples once penetration is allowed.
The ejaculatory reflex might be triggered at the wrong moment, causing premature ejaculations or – perhaps even worse – guys having a hard time finishing at all. Sometimes the intensity of stimulation in the vagina is so different when compared to the tight grip of a hand, guys don’t feel enough and can continue forever without ever getting an orgasm. Or they get tired, get flaccid, give up, etc… Others can’t stand the warmth/moist and ejaculate as soon as they penetrate the vagina, or even faster, when thinking about what is about to come is already enough to trigger an orgasm. The entire spectrum is possible.
My therapist warned me this could happen and thanks to her we were able to work things out, but I’m not sure this is info that every practitioner shares with their clients.