Reply To: Treating vaginismus before the first sexual experience

[coldasice]

I’ve read some interesting things here and I want to add my own experience.

I’ve lived for 20 years in Finland, which is known for its sexual liberalism. Nudity is normal here. In sauna’s and pools, being naked around friends and colleagues is generally accepted. Teens invite their friends for pool parties. By the time I was 18, I saw all my classmates naked – yes, all sexes mixed together. No one cares. You get to see so many different body types you don’t even care how you look like yourself 🙂 Sex ed is very explicit when compared to the States. Books for teens contain passages with instructions on how to masturbate. My own mother explained to me how I should masturbate, and my father did the same with my brother. And I can assure you that was not the “explore yourself” stuff you always here, but clear instructions on what you should touch for how long and in what way. So yes, I was used to seeing quite a lot when I started dating.

However. At the same time, it’s ‘not done’ to insert things in your vagina. I don’t know why, it’s not recommended, not encouraged… during talks about masturbation for instance, the attention goes to the clitoris and not a single instruction will tell you to inserting things. You’ll hardly find young teens using tampons, or teens using vibrators… which at the same time means the first time sex becomes way more important when compared to the States because most girls have still intact hymens, have pain when they have sex for the first time, etc… so there are pro’s and cons.