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Hi Natalie0000 – I’m so sorry to hear about your issue! That must be so frustrating to have vaginismus appear after years of pain-free sex, although in reality our bodies change a lot over the course of our lives (as Melissa has highlighted). Anxiety and the perpetuating cycle of fear of pain/experiencing pain can really compound itself, especially if you feel like you’re digging into a deeper hole.
I agree with Melissa that trying a dilation kit to stretch your muscles gradually and start rebuilding your confidence is a great idea. As hard as it can be, it might be a good idea to try to work on the guilt and shame you’re feeling (and thus probably bringing into your sexual experiences) because it can contribute to feelings of dread and uncertainty that can cause more pain. Whether that’s by working through your feelings with a therapist, journaling, or even just reflecting on your mental state before a sexual encounter, it can really help pave the way for a more satisfying sexual future.