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Hi Olive123 – Heather’s advice was excellent but I just want to reiterate that your experience at the gyno was terrible and I’m so sorry that happened to you! It sounds like vaginismus to me and even if it wasn’t, doctors shouldn’t dismiss pain and fear that’s clearly affecting their patients like that. One of the truly shocking things about the world of vaginismus is that there are loads of gynecologists who aren’t familiar with it even though it’s such a common affliction of people with vaginas. It’s crazy that most of us have to go years before we get a diagnosis and that usually includes multiple gynos. But anyway, being physically able to tolerate being examined (through enormous pain) does NOT dismiss the possibility of vaginismus.

As Heather says, there are lots of treatment options based on the range of what you’re able to tolerate, from pelvic floor therapy to dilation on your own to the botox treatment, so I hope you’ll investigate some options if you feel so motivated. You don’t deserve to feel this much pain and there are solutions out there!