I am still dilating, and I have been working with a PT lady since the start. I found out I had this when I went in to see a fertility specialist. I have been on chemotherapy for years and wanted to check that out. I got this news! I took a break because it’s emotionally a lot, but I’m getting in to see a psychologist, and my mom is as supportive as she can be. She doesn’t pry just tells me she doesn’t know how I find the strength to do this. She listens with an open ear and an open heart. I went to the gyno the other day, and it didn’t hurt as bad, and I told her. When she sees me break down in tears, she asks if there is something she can do. Part of my frustration is I have a rare form of muscular dystrophy, and I’ve been through therapy for PTSD, and I came out stronger. I have epilepsy by no sense of the word has my life been simple. I am not whining, but my frustration comes with three things I’m so used to being strong enough that I don’t just break down, and I don’t need someone and was able to before. I know what I am missing.
But on the positive side, I don’t feel pressured or like I’m rushing to get this done. I feel like it’s okay to go on vacation and take a break for two days. I have a wonderful friend who helps me laugh. I also am doing this because I want to go into my next relationship, confident that I can have fun! That I can connect and want to!