Diercl48, I’m so sorry to hear what happened in your relationship – I think almost all of us who have suffered from vaginismus have had some experience with losing a partner who stopped wanting to deal with the problem. It sucks what your boyfriend did, especially when you were putting in real work to work on the problem. A truly supportive partner would have recognized you WERE making progress and invested in your growth.
Like all the other women here, I strongly encourage you to keep going with dilating! Not for a man and not even just so you can have sex, but because it will give you confidence and take away some of the feelings of being less of a woman that have made you feel limited. You’ll be able to date with more confidence if you feel more in control of your vaginismus situation, and then it can be something you share with partners on your own time as YOU want to. I know it can be hard to motivate to do this on your own, but I think you’ll be so glad you did when you meet someone who deserves that kind of intimacy with you.