How did your sex life change after having a baby?

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  • #18902
    mm
    Heather34
    Moderator

    Hi all. I overcame vaginismus in 2011 after having Dr. Pacik’s botox treatment program. Prior to this, my hubby and I never had intercourse but did enjoy intimacy in other ways throughout the years. After overcoming vaginismus, our sex life did turn from mechanical (having to use dilators in advance, etc.) to very, very pleasurable. We both enjoyed this greatly. I became pregnant in 2015 and was diagnosed with a low-lying placenta so we did not have intercourse throughout the pregnancy. Post-pregnancy, we also had to wait for me to heal as I had a c-section and we were then able to make love again. It has been ok but definitely not phenomenal like it once was. Any thoughts or advice on ways to help improve this in any way?

    #20557
    mm
    Heather34
    Moderator

    Hi all. Dr. BatSheva wrote an excellent new blog on scheduling sex when you have kids:

    Excerpts include:

    “The reality is that if having sex in your marriage is important — and in most cases it really and truly is — you’re going to have to include it as if it’s a “must do,” and schedule it in. That means sitting down and picking a time both of you think will work (not still at the office, not exhausted, no kids banging at the door,) and make concrete arrangements to make it possible. (A babysitter? A lock? A nap first?) Then you need to make this a (nearly) unbreakable commitment. Don’t worry. It gets easier. And you may even find that scheduled sex can be as hot as the spontaneous kind. And guess what? In 20 years or so when your kids move out, you can always go back to the spontaneous kind!!”

    OMG! This Blog is exactly what I needed to read today. Making love to my hubby post-vaginismus was an adventure. It started out very mechanical and then reached the point that we both really enjoyed it and looked forward to it. After the birth of our son, it has slowed waaaaaaaay down and we literally have to plan out date nights and get the babysitter and make sure we both aren’t tired from being up the night before. Even since last year, it has gotten easier to do this now and we are less tired. We are going away for our first vaca in a year in March but will be taking the little one. We may have our friend babysit for a tiny while when we’re at the hotel and use this time for one on one fun!!!

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