Re: Scared but trying to have hope

[Heather34]

Hi Kaitlyn. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so sorry for what you are currently going through right now. I had vaginismus during my 20s and know so well what you are currently going through. Please, please know that I am here for you always. I tried everything possible to relax and will myself to have sex with my then boyfriend and now husband but no matter what, with each try, he could not get passed the wall of pain/resistance and I felt worse and worse. I also was never able to have a gynecological exam either b/c of the burning pain. It was beyond frustrating. I tried so hard to work with dilators but could never insert even the smallest one b/c of the pain/resistance feeling that I always had. I had the Botox treatment program with Dr. Pacik in 2011 and thereafter was able to insert the dilators for the first time and later my husband. For the first time, I met a doctor and staff who did not tell me to just relax and treated both the very real physical as well as emotional aspects of vaginismus. I, too, did not tell anyone except for my then boyfriend/now husband. One idea that I have to tell your mom if you choose to is to write her a letter explaining the medical condition. This takes the uncomfortable sex talk out of it which may make it easier. Right now, Dr. Pacik is retired but he is referring patients to an excellent group in New York who also do the Botox treatment program along with counseling. They provide complimentary review of your forms and work with patients to help find insurance coverage and a means of making the treatment possible financially as well. If Dr. Pacik recommends them, they are excellent and could help so, so much. Ok, please know that I am here for you always! Please write back! Sending you big hugs today!