#13620
mmHeather34
Moderator

Hi ceegee. I just read your post and am so, so sorry about your struggles with primary V. I had vaginismus all of my 20s and into my early 30s. During that time, I told absolutely no one except my then boyfriend/now husband and the doctor we visited. It felt so isolating and I am so, so, so happy that Dr. Pacik created this Forum so nobody else has to experience this level of isolation with vaginismus anymore. Although I cannot physically see you, we can still connect and you know that others out there understand so well everything that comes with vaginismus. I can’t describe in writing how much this procedure has helped me and changed our lives. Prior to it, I couldn’t insert a thing b/c of the big V. I wanted to so badly but just couldn’t get beyond the wall of resistance/pain and exams were just a nightmare and entirely impossible. I never thought the Botox procedure would work because of my past experiences with exams but it did (THANK GOD). There are so many aspects that helped it to work for us. First, both my husband and I noticed almost immediately that the resistance (great wall) was gone which made it possible to insert the dilators and later him when this never ever could happen before because despite how much we pushed and tried and wanted it to work, nothing could go in at all. Second, and so importantly, the support we received from Dr. Pacik and everyone in the office was like nothing we had ever experienced before and was so different than our prior terrible doctor visits for attempted exams. They care so, so, so much about you as a person as well as your success. After my procedure, Dr. Pacik and the staff kept in close contact with me which helped so, so, so much to reduce my anxiety post-procedure. At the time of my procedure in 2011, the glass dilators were not available so I solely used the pure romance dilator set. They are made of softer silicone material, different colors, and very importantly for me, have handles on the bottom which made them easier to insert and remove. I used these dilators very strictly in the beginning post-procedure and slept with one every other night. I then talked to Dr. Pacik and the staff and tapered back the time I dilated and sometimes, would solely dilate at night while sleeping. It may sound so strange and I know it would to me before the procedure, but this is a possibility post-procedure b/c the Botox makes the resistance/hitting a wall feeling dissipate so insertion is now possible. I used them for a while before intercourse. I know now that I didn’t physically need to because I was stretched enough, but at the time, I felt like I needed to as it reduced my anxiety and I knew I was ‘ready’ for intercourse. Then, once we just went for it and tried intercourse without dilating first, it worked fine and was comfortable. After this, I never mentally felt like I had to prior to making love. The same thing is true for ob/gyn exams. For an even longer time, I felt like I had to dilate before as it reduced my anxiety and I knew I would be ‘ready’. Then, a day came where I had a late day appointment and couldn’t dilate before and it was a fine pain-free exam. After this, I never dilated again prior as I knew it had worked and I now felt like I didn’t need to. Now, quite a few years after my June 2011 procedure, I haven’t dilated in years and continue to have pain-free intercourse plus pain-free exams. The Sybian that Dr. Pacik referenced in his post does look very, very helpful. And, without the resistance/hitting a wall feeling post-procedure, this seems like it could work very well. Also, sleeping with one of the comfortable sized dilators post-procedure could be super helpful too. Please, please know that I am here for you and you have my support 100%!!! Sending you hugs from Boston today!!!!