Hi DGhalwash. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so, so sorry for your struggles with vaginismus. Please know that you have found an excellent place of support and you are not alone with this at all.
I want to share information with you on working with vaginal dilators. I’ve used both the Pure Romance dilator set as well as the Pacik Glass ones and like them both. The Pure Romance ones are great because they’re a softer silicone material and have handles which makes them easier to insert and remove. They also have many, many different sizes. I also really like the Pacik Glass ones because they, too, have the handles and they are shorter in length so you don’t feel them as much and can do other things with them in. I want to share the link for the second issue of the VaginismusMD Newsletter that discusses all-things dilating. Specific topics include: Styles and Materials of Dilators, Getting Started with Dilation (includes information on ordering dilator set), Anxiety Control, Advanced Dilation Techniques, and Transitioning to Intercourse. http://www.vaginismusmd.com/support/vaginismus-newsletter-archive/ins-outs-vaginal-dilation/#sthash.kAelUpP1.dpuf I also used a combination of Lidocaine/Surgilube as a lubricant on the dilators. I liberally used this and it made beginning insertion much more doable.
Ok, I hope all of this helps and again want you to know that I am sincerely here for you and send my support. Please follow-up and let me know how you are doing and write often as, again, it helps to feel less isolated and feel supported by others who either have gone through or currently are going through this.