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Dr. Pacik

“Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.”
~ William Shakespeare

Love is a relief. It’s a relief finally to find someone who matches our inner vision. We might not even have realized how lonely we were, or how nervous. We all have unknown stress–from not belonging, not sharing others’ feelings or interests, fearing that we’ll never deeply connect with another. To connect even for a moment on some level brings relief to swallowed stress, so we sigh. Art and poetry usually depict the lover’s sigh as a swoon, but it may just as easily signify sadness, regret, dismay, boredom, or futility. Where there’s a sigh, there’s a provocation.

People who sigh during sex or in romantic embrace might seem to be in their own solitary experience. The slightest touch can release repressed tension that may be deeper than that of the current circumstance. Certain people, whether healers or seducers, have the ability to play people like a piano, touching more than skin–touching this life tension and releasing a cacophony of erotic sighs.

What is it to exhale, and to accompany this exhale with a song? A sigh feels like it comes from the gut or the heart. It’s an intimate sound, a communication in a way, as if words were superfluous. Is it possible to sigh without feeling safe? Sighing signifies trust–a psychological seed that may sprout into articulation of ideas and thoughts, but is not yet at that stage. A sigh can be a way we express that we feel safe enough to share feelings or perhaps just within ourselves. It’s a space that we may create a lot of space around.

• Listen today to the sighs and wordless sounds people make. Can you respond to the ringing trust that a sigh engenders? Notice the prosody of ensuing dialogue and try to elongate your emotional connections.
• Give a good sigh. Practice expressing unknown, inexpressible feeling through sighs. At what point does it feel forced or annoying, and when do you feel comfortable and safe enough to share these subterranean feelings through the direct language of the heart? Today, discover right-sized sighing to free your inner song.

From the MIRROR OF INTIMACY book The Daily Meditation Book by Alexandra Katehakis and Tom Bliss