Re: Advice

[Nakitalab]

Dan, I have suffered with vaginismus for over 31 years and am so excited to have my treatment with Dr. Pacik in October. When I read your post I felt compelled to tell you how I have felt over the years as someone who suffers with vaginismus. My husband and I have been married for over 31 years. Throughout all of these years I have gone through periods when I didn’t want to be intimate with my husband. And it is not because I don’t love him, it is because of the guilt and shame that I feel having this awful condition. You feel like you are a freak and not a true woman and you feel like you are the only woman who has this, it is truly humiliating. It is a condition that women don’t talk about and what a blessing this website and forum are to all of us. It gives us a voice and a great support system of other women who suffer from the same condition. There have been many times when I didn’t want to be intimate in any way, shape or form because it is a painful reminder of what I am not able to do–make love with my husband without pain. Libido has a tendency to walk out the door when you have these feelings of inadequacy, try and not succeed and have pain. For me I sometimes become obsessed, looking at teenage girls, other women thinking how it must be so easy for them…why can’t it be for me. In fact I have been on anti-depressants for many years. I still can’t believe that my husband has stayed with me for all of these years. He has experienced many “dry spells” all of these years. So please don’t give up hope. Your girlfriend may be hurting so much inside that being intimate in any way, including intercourse, is still a painful reminder of this awful burden that we carry. You had her best interest at heart when you purchased the dilators, but they can be very intimidating. I just stumbled across this website three weeks ago and am scheduled to go in for treatment in October. I can’t tell you what it means to actually feel “hope” again; having gone through so many different treatments, counseling, etc. I had lost all hope. I hope that you and your girlfriend will seriously consider Dr. Pacik’s treatment. It would be an encouragement for her to read all the posts on this forum too. We are all here for each other so please don’t hesitate to post and let your girlfriend know she doesn’t need to suffer in silence anymore. There are so many success stories from women who have had Dr. Pacik’s treatment and that gives me hope and hopefully you and your girlfriend too.