Reply To: Help with dilators post Botox

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi GirlFromEngland – great to hear from you, and thank you for the kind words! Even though it’s been several years since I’ve had the procedure, I definitely still remember how hard it was emotionally to be dealing with vaginismus so have so much care in my heart for you!

Personally, I will say that I didn’t really notice a difference between before or after when the botox wore off. For me what seemed like the difference-maker of the procedure was waking up with the dilator in (which I know you didn’t do) and just getting comfortable with dilating during the time I was receiving the benefits of the botox. Building the dilation habit and making sure to do it every day were the things that seemed to really get my body ready for intercourse. I WAS dating a partner I transitioned to having sex with at the time, so it’s hard for me to totally match my experience to yours, but I think if you keep up the dilation habit you won’t have problems even once the botox wears off.

Just in terms of the new person you’re dating, I don’t know your situation or the extent to which your partner knows about your vaginismus, but something you might want to try if you’re open about the fact that you’re dilating and get to a point where you want to try having intercourse with this person is to have him insert the dilators so you can get some experience not being in total control of the dilator’s movement. It’s also especially helpful to dilate right before trying to have intercourse so you’re warmed up. Finally, I just want to mention this because it comes up A LOT, but it’s super normal for a partner who knows about your vaginismus struggles to have trouble getting an erection just in case he’s worried about hurting you. There are several ways of working through that that we’ve discussed on the forums.

I hope this helps and let us know if you have any other questions!