Reply To: WON’T GO IN, HURTS SO BAD.

[recessivegenequeen]

Alexis – Persevere is totally right and it sounds like your issue is more one of size rather than being unable to tolerate any kind of penetration at all. That’s good news as it indicates there are things you can do to ready your body for intercourse. Dilation is how many women with penetration issues deal with vaginismus, so if this problem proves persistent, you might order a set of dilators to start working with. Dilating is basically just inserting a series of slightly larger and larger objects into your vagina at regular intervals to get your muscles used to the feeling of being penetrated. If you’re already able to insert fingers, toys, etc. without much pain you’d be a good candidate for dilators. The Pure Romance dilator set is a great one that a lot of people have success with, including me. Just google “Pure Romance dilators” to find it.

You can also just keep experimenting sexually to see if you relax and get more comfortable over time, or try a combination of approaches. Some people find it challenging in intercourse to have something inserted into them without them manipulating the object, so you might try having your partner insert a smaller toy or his finger to see how that feels and help yourself further narrow down what’s difficult about it.

Hope this helps – there are many possible approaches for you to take, this is likely just a short chapter in your overall sexual life!