Reply To: 36 years and I’m undone

[recessivegenequeen]

I am glad my response helped you, Ammon_2. You’re in a hard position and I understand why the holidays are so tough for you around the holidays because you’re seeing what you haven’t gotten to see flourish in your own life around you.

I hope that opening up to your wife will be helpful to you, and also that the future brings you opportunities to build a version of this life you seek, even if it doesn’t look like what you might have imagined. A lot of people in life have to confront the reality that they can’t have children (whether it’s due to infertility, vaginismus, or a range of other issues) or just can’t have the picture they thought their life would be like, and they can go on to build wonderful lives that aren’t quite what they envisioned but which bring them fulfillment anyway. Maybe your path will look like this – you could adopt children or be a foster parent or devote your time and energies to charities that help to fill part of what feels missing in your life. We can’t know what life will bring to us, but I know that things are never over until we let them be.