Hi Daffodil. You wrote:

“…I have been trying to move the ‘mountain’, my vaginismus, for almost 5 years. Its just this year I am given an impression that it is more in my head rather than inner thighs….”

I’m so sorry that you were given the impression that vaginismus is in your head. I have read so many similar stories and have my own story of seeking and receiving several failed treatments for vaginismus. The pain associated with vaginismus is not “in the women’s head” and does not readily respond to suggestions to “just relax”. Vaginismus is a ‘real’ physical pain and the Botox treatment for vaginismus works to address both this physical pain and to also diffuse the fear of penetration. First, the Botox injections work to weaken the tight vaginal muscles that often make penetration impossible. Second, waking up with the dilator already in place works very well to diffuse the fear associated with penetration. For some patients, such as myself, this was the first time that something was inside of me “pain-free” and, in realizing this, it entirely eliminated any anxiety associated with penetration. The uniqueness of this combined approach to vaginismus is what truly makes it work so, so well.

You also wrote:
…”Thinking how to overcome but one thing is for sure I need immense amount of Hope to find my way.”

Please have hope and know that you can and will overcome this! If you haven’t yet, please try to work with Maze Women’s Sexual Health in any way possible. In a recent post, Melissa wrote an excellent message to another Forum member who lives out of country. She writes: “We would love to treat you here in the US, as I believe the Botox procedure with progressive dilation would really be the best treatment option. If you want to speak with someone about the procedure, please don’t hesitate to call. Melissa (914)-328-3700”

I also wanted to share some wonderful quotes of inspiration with you:

“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping.” – Chinese Proverb

“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
-Audrey Hepburn