Hi donnaa! Recessivegenequeen said it all! You deserve an incredible sex life! You should not be having to go through this pain and I’m so sorry that you are. Vaginismus is so inconvenient. If you’re up for dilating, I wouldn’t knock it! You’re able to insert a penis and handle a couple strokes so you’re able to accomplish insertion which is actually really huge for Vaginismus! I purchased the Pure Romance dilator kit. A bunch of lube. And then you would want a consistent schedule. More days of the week than not. And never push your body if it is asking you to rest! They range from the size of your pinky, to 51/2 inch penis I believe. I know it’s around there, which is average size for most males. But they do sell a bigger size separately. The idea is to be able to stretch bigger than your partners penis so that your body is like, oh! We can handle that because we can handle a little bit more! So it’s a comfy insertion. You would start with the smallest and insert it. Leave it in for a minute, or until you feel comfortable enough to take it all the way out and put it back in again. From there you would start slow strokes, making sure you don’t take it all the way out this time. I used to complete my dilating session and then leave it in there and watch a movie so my body would get used to penetration. I wasn’t able to insert anything at all, that’s why I had to get the BOTOX procedure. But you absolutely deserve pain free, mind blowing sex! Let us know if you have any questions! There is also an entire section dedicated to dilating with a ton of great info!