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If vaginismus is suspected, I think having her use a home dilation kit would be very helpful. She can slowly start stretching the muscles, which should make penetration less painful. I would suggest dilating prior to intercourse. If you can open the vaginal entrance up a little first with the dilators, so first penetration is not as uncomfortable, intercourse should hurt less. It would be helpful if she can dilate or penetrate with something larger than your penis as well. If she can stretch bigger than you…you shouldn’t hurt.