Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus General Accepting the pain Reply To: Accepting the pain

#48263
Heather
Participant

I have had way too many conversations with my female friends who tell me it hurts. I remember growing up with it, so scared of no one loving me because a lot of us vagina owners have heard a lot of talk from men about their sexual desires and prefences and basically only care about penetration and if that isn’t something you can offer, they won’t spend any time on you. It’s scary to speak up about to your Mom, if you catch it young, and tell her your vagina hurts during sex or tampons or penetrative masturbation. Because then the question comes up of, How did you figure this out? What caused the pain? And if you can’t tell your Mom or parent about it, because maybe sex is forbidden in your household.. You’re forced to wait til you can be of age to go to the doctor alone. And if you’re in a relationship, and you want to speak up… then there’s the fear of your partner leaving or becoming angry with you or even cheating in the relationship. And if you get yourself to the doctor, far too often we’re told to drink wine and use lube. I actually had a doctor tell me that I need to get this fixed before my husband cheats on me. Never went back to her again. There’s so many contributing factors as to why women stay silent about it. I think the biggest problem regarding vaginismus is the fact that it’s just proof that women don’t get the knowledge, or the resources they need to really know and learn about their bodies. Vaginismus is so treatable but a lot of doctors believe it’s JUST in the head when it’s a head AND body issue. It’s so sad that women are in pain during something that’s supposed to be enjoyable. It’s even more sad that vaginismus isn’t known or spoken of or taught in sex ed classes. The female body is so complex and so much goes on underneath our skin. Young girls should definitely have classes just for them in school. Maybe one day vaginismus wont be so kept in the dark.