I am so sorry to hear about that, that sounds awful and horrifying. I highly suggest you ask for a Valium before your next appointment. I cured my vaginismus, but still do not like the invasive appointments and it really really helps a lot. My OBGYN sends 1 pill to my pharmacy and my Husband will drive me. You may also want a support partner there too if you have someone you can trust to be in the room during that, it can be very soothing. Your case of vaginismus sounds like mine. I could get a finger in my vagina, or a very small dilator, but I couldn’t move it and it was horribly painful. Unfortunately, vaginismus is different for all women and some cases can be worse than others but you do not deserve this. You do not deserve to have to deal with vaginismus, or pain during exams, or being unable to experience the joys and pleasures of penetrative sex. And vaginismus is very very curable!! No matter how severe! I think it’s incredible that you are doing PT! But you should not be under this much distress 🙁 You are already taking all the necessary steps and you are so brave in doing so! I have no doubt that you can overcome this! If PT isn’t helping you and it’s causing you fear and pain, I’d give Maze a call. They really are the best team of women to help fight vaginismus! I was trying everything I could to overcome it at home, but just couldn’t get past the pain so I scheduled the BOTOX procedure and it was life changing! They do all the heavy lifting, after your procedure you are able to dilate with much bigger dilators, quite comfortably. Some women become cured within a few weeks, for me it took 38 days. But then I was cured! I go into detail about the whole procedure in this forum under Success Stories and it’s titled The End To My Nightmare 2018, if you’d like to know more. I really hope this helps! Please keep asking your questions, we really want to help 🙂 This isn’t your permanent reality, just an annoying bump in the road. You got this!