Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus General Story from Denmark (and a question!) Reply To: Story from Denmark (and a question!)


Hi Kia – thanks so much for sharing your story! As an American, I’ve been really surprised to read the accounts people from European countries that all corroborate what you said – that Europeans generally do not insert anything into their vaginas but also have less hangups with nudity and seeing all types of bodies. It’s really interesting because the parts about having a more healthy and balanced idea about what bodies look like seem great (as so many teens and adults too have negative body image and unrealistic standards for themselves here). But it seems like your culture has the same struggles with communication around sexual issues that the U.S. does, and it’s similarly hard to seek treatment for vaginismus because it often takes awhile to learn of its existence or be proactive and seek out the answers. I hope there are things that European and North American cultures can take from each other to give women a better experience overall.

As to your question, that DOES sound normal for someone who is getting close to an orgasm but not actually having one. Would it be possible for you to give yourself an orgasm AFTER you’re done dilating for the day? You’e right that most women’s vaginas stay tightened for several hours after having an orgasm, but once you’ve finished with your dilation routine for the morning or evening, that might help you appease the unpleasant feeling (and could also even be a sort of reward for doing your dilation!)