Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus General Getting support (again) Reply To: Getting support (again)

#44936
recessivegenequeen
Participant

Hi SexlessInSeattle – I’m so sorry to hear about the hard road you’ve been on for so long. The fact that vaginismus can be so isolating from everyone else around you is a big part of what makes the feelings surrounding it so hard to process. Something it took me a long time to learn was that if your friends love you and are empathetic people, they will want to be a resource for you even if they don’t understand firsthand what you’re going through. Having vaginismus isn’t your fault, but it can still be hard to unwind the shame that feels so personal and distressing.

Regarding your dilation, is your partner’s penis bigger than your largest dilator? That can be part of why the transition to intercourse isn’t working well. Or maybe it’s something else – motion, position, etc. There are a lot of factors that can make this last step trickier, but knowing what’s going on makes it easier to identify the particular fix that’s needed!