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I once dated a man who had a teenage daughter and he was very sexually liberated as a dad – he bought his daughter a vibrator and encouraged her to explore and ask her parents questions! I think this kind of thing is really rare but I hope it becomes more of a standard in future generations (hopefully especially as people who had vaginismus have daughters and want to create a less fraught path for them). I think the more shame is removed from sex as a concept, the more girls will be open to learning and exploring, and the more they can understand how sex should feel, when it should hurt, and when it SHOULDN’T.

We have a lot of power at the individual level if we parents daughters (and SONS too, as we can teach boys to make the experience more pleasurable for girls) but I also think society has a lot of catching up to do to support this goal. Sex ed should be less fear-based and more useful information should be given to teens.