SL0610, I want to second what Melissa said – you shouldn’t give up! There are many treatments for vaginismus and not all of them work for everyone. I had severe vaginismus for 10 years and I know that just dilating on my own (or possibly even with a pelvic floor PT) would not have worked for me at all as I wasn’t able to insert anything at all. It took getting the botox treatment at Maze to finally be able to work with dilators and build a new relationship between my brain and my body, and just because other methods didn’t work didn’t mean I was incurable. Now I’m almost 5 years out from when I got the botox and have been able to have pain-free sex that entire time, which was a thing that used to seem impossible to me. I think you can get to that point too.
Melissa listed out several great treatment options and I encourage you to look into them if you don’t feel like you’re getting enough out of physical therapy. The fact that you’ve made some progress before means it’s possible, and that you shouldn’t accept this pain for the rest of your life!