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You’re right rabbit, it doesn’t work for everyone and catchall advice can definitely feel hurtful if it doesn’t actually work for you (sort of like people with vaginismus being told to “drink a glass of wine and relax.”)

I recently read Bat Sheva Marcus’s book Sex Points (she’s the clinical director at Maze), which has a large focus on issues with orgasm. If you haven’t been able to have an orgasm before I recommend checking it out – it discusses a lot of less common issues and solutions: