Not much attention is given to the hymen during sex ed and biology classes, at least, not enough IMHO, cause it can play an important role during sex, and certainly when you’ve got vaginusmus.
Recessivegenequeen is right: a tampon, a dilator, a vibrator, or your finger can tear your hymen. In my case, my hymen was still intact and my therapist used a mirror to show me what it looked like. There is a special technique you can use to tear your own hymen, which is needed before starting to use the dilator set.
Feel free to ask me any question you want.