Hi sarah232! Thanks for your question, it can definitely be confusing if you don’t actually know what will happen at a therapist’s office.
Speaking specifically to what happens at the Maze Clinic (which I think is similar to lots of other treatment protocols), when you meet with a therapist at first it won’t involve getting naked or being touched – it’s more about the therapist learning about your history with sex and your body and understanding better what your priorities are and what kinds of help you’ll need. A good therapist will NEVER push you into something that could violate your comfort without a lot of warning and discussion first.
At Maze, once you speak with a therapist, you will usually meet with one of the clinicians who will do things like try to examine you to assess the extent of your vaginismus and what kind of treatment options might work best for you, but they will be sure to communicate what they’re doing in advance.
If you’re working with some kind of sex therapist locally where you live, it will likely go much the same way – the therapist will get to know you and then start helping you work with dilators or some other treatment method, but they should never push you into something too quickly. You can also call therapists and ask them what their process is before meeting with them so you’ll feel more at ease. I highly recommend doing this!